We’ve all heard the saying and as a woman, we’ve all tried it before.
Killing with kindness.
That’s the way, right? The way to get back at someone that has been less than kind to you. It’s not wrong to be extra kind to someone that needs to see what kindness is really all about. Right?
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. (Col. 3:12, MSG)
Well, that’s a dress that may not fit so well right now, a little too tight perhaps, so we are unpacking a little at a time. Today we will look at kindness. What does real kindness look like between women? It’s become so foreign a concept we tend to forget.
Paul says in Romans 12:9 (MSG) to “love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it.”
What? I can’t fake it? I can’t kill her with kindness since she has been so unkind to me?
Brother Paul says no. And that means God says…No.
Paul also says here to “love from the center of who you are.” That goes a little deep does it not? The center of who I am is not always a pretty site. It’s not always full of love and kindness.
What’s in the well comes up in the bucket.
And my well can get muddy if not all together dry at times.
My muddy soul can produce some dirty thoughts, words and deeds. To sow kindness means I’ve got to have some kindness in me to pull from. That means I’ve got some work to do. God’s got a work to do in me.
I’m not saying I’m a mean person. All the time. Or that we as women are mean. All the time. But if we are honest, REALLY honest, we will see some room for improvement in the kindness category.
Who are we kidding? Women can be the meanest creatures known to man. We don’t even have to verbalize it. It’s in the way we look. I mean stare. “I can’t believe she wore that to church? Does she own a mirror? What kind of mama did she have to let her think that was appropriate attire for Wal-Mart, much less church?” (insert gasp…and a smile, we always put on a smile when we think things like this. Or is that just me?)
Kindness isn’t just a lesson our teenage daughters need. Though they can be bad. Really bad. I know, I was one.
I was not the most popular girl. I didn’t have the name-brand clothes. I never had the “right” hair. I couldn’t keep up with what was the popular music or tv show…that week. They changed too much. And I knew what it felt like to be looked at “that way” that said I know you are different, but I won’t be mean to your face. Or maybe I will.
I’ve also been on the other side. I was never deliberately mean to another girl, but I was trying to find my place in the world, too, and if it meant not talking to you or avoiding you because you were a little different, I probably did. Ok, I did. I know I did it at times.
Back to what I said…kindness isn’t just something our teenage daughters need.
It’s something we as women need.
Who do they learn to be so mean from, anyway? Think about that a moment.
Who do they learn from?
Then there’s this. The fact that you don’t know what that other soul is bearing today. What enormous cross are they lugging up a one-way hill?
You don’t know that she wakes up to a man every morning that is living in darkness and that darkness is constantly groping for her own soul.
You don’t know that she has a parent that has become more needy than her own children.
You don’t know that she has a prodigal that has left home or left their faith or worse yet never had the faith she thought they had and she has no idea when or if they will ever return to her or to the God that she has tried her entire life to lead them to.
So yeah, there’s that. In the bitterness of our soul, we don’t see the other soul for what they’re facing.
So we say an unkind word. We think an unkind thought. We do an unkind deed. And none of those can be taken back.
A word spoken is a word eternal.
A thought etched in our mind is a thought eternal.
A deed done is a deed eternal.
A word penned is a word eternal.
A word expressed is a word eternal. Period.
It takes as much effort to say a kind word, do a kind deed, think a kind thought, as it does to do, think, or share one unkind.
Oh, that we as people, we as sisters, would start sharing more kindness than hate.
It’s not in our flesh, but it’s in our ability through the One who can and will clothe us with kindness if we let Him.
It’s time. For kindness to overcome hate and envy and greed and just. plain. meanness.
It’s time to be more. Our girls are watching and learning. Let’s do this. It’s time to be kind.
It’s “Woman to Woman” Wednesday. Working on unity of the sisterhood here on Wednesdays one perfectly imperfect word at a time. If you would like to share your thoughts on todays post or add your own comments about how we can grow kindness as a sisterhood, we welcome your words below! Feel free to leave comments or add a link to your own blog post. Much thanks! (Excuse the little blue frog…though he is kind of cute, I would rather not have him on here, but can’t seem to make him go away. :O) Please has it out with us using #w2w when you share. 😀 You can view last week’s W2W here.