This mama saw her moment of reprieve and she took it. All 120 seconds of it.
I sat down in my back yard on that one patch of new green grass that was dry enough not to soak through my already dirty britches and just soaked it in. I looked at my muddy two-sizes too big muck boots stuck out there like the boats my feet are and thought how great it was to just sit after all that digging and bending over. And how glad I was to see the sun. So much wet, so much snow, so much cold. And now to see and feel the sun again.
The sun. I hadn’t seen it in so long I almost forgot what it looked like. What it felt like. How warm and sweet that big ball of light felt on my tired face and closed eyes.
I was having a moment. A quiet, sun-soaked moment. And I wasn’t alone.
I felt His presence. I even whispered for Him to come. I knew it wouldn’t last long, but I knew it was special.
As the suns rays warmed my face, I sensed His Spirit speak to my soul. That bright light that I couldn’t open my eyes to see was like my God. So bright I could never look on Him and live, and in the same instance His light is what keeps me alive.
It was as if He was saying, “Soak me up, Meredith.”
Soak Him up.
I need to spend time soaking Him up if I ever hope to wring Him out.
I can only wring out what I’ve soaked up in the first place. That dirty dish rag I keep meaning to change and finally do when it actually starts to stink or feel slimy, is full of what it’s been soaking up. This week that’s been plates of mashed potatoes, gravy and old peas my three-year old says she “wants when she wants them” and when she doesn’t come back for them an hour later they get washed off with that rag. That rag that’s been soaking up all of the junk in my sink.
That’s my soul. Soaking up whatever I put in it. And that’s what gets rung out.
Junk in means junk out. Grace in means grace out.
In those short moments soaking up the sun I realized I needed to be soaking up more of the Son.
It was over as quick as it started. I heard a plea for mama…where did I go? They just needed to know where I was. There is that need, to just know where their mama is. That sense of security a child needs to feel secure in their own skin. Even in the place they call home and feel most comfortable. Always needing their mama or daddy’s presence to feel secure.
I’m the same way. I need to know my Father is with me, too. And today He reminded me.
He’s with me. Even if I don’t see Him or always feel Him. He’s here.
The Son is always shining, even if I don’t see Him.
I need to soak Him up whenever I can, so I’ll have Him to pour out on these littles. And their father. And all others I come in contact with.
God grant me the ability to soak up more of You than what this world is throwing down.
And let me remember You are always there for me to take in even when I don’t see you or feel you.
With arms open for your daughter. There’s graceful arms open for this muddy daughter’s muddy soul today.
And there are arms open for the muddy soul reading this. We could all stand to soak up a little Son today, couldn’t we?