I feel like I need to make another confession. Yep. Another.
Remember the disclaimer I made when I first started this blog…about being perfectly imperfect? Well, just making sure you know that still applies. I still wear it like a little black dress…that I’ve never worn. Always wanted an occasion…anyway.
Yep, it still fits perfectly. To a “t”. Perfectly Imperfect. That’s me.
I feel like maybe some may get the impression since I’m now blogging and claiming wonderful truths…that are still and will always be true…maybe I have my act all together. Maybe my life is “perfect.” Maybe my marriage and my kids and family are just perfect.
Sorry to disappoint. Nope. Not perfect. I mess up. A lot. I get angry at my husband and say things I shouldn’t. I get angry with my kids and say things I shouldn’t. I get angry at myself…and say things I shouldn’t.
I should go delete my blog and Facebook page RIGHT now.
That’s what I told myself earlier after I got mad with my husband, said a short word and hung up the phone on him. Yeah, I did that. I was mad.
And maybe I should. Deleter this and my page where I try to encourage you everyday. And I’m sure the devil would be very happy if I did. So I won’t. Not yet.
Not until I am perfect and I have nothing left to say to anyone else who’s not perfect. Then I won’t be able to relate to you and you won’t be able to relate to me. There will be nothing left to say.
So for now, I’ll keep saying what I feel God is telling me to say or at least what I feel He’s saying to me.
And right now, He’s telling me to repent. Seek forgiveness from my man and from Him. And I will. And it won’t be easy. It never is. But it’s the right thing to do.
After a right decision there is always a right reward.
I’m sorry if I burst your bubble that I was really more than I am today. I’m not. I’m still a perfectly imperfect wife and mama just trying to make it through another day. I use more than my share of grace on most days. Most hours. Most minutes.
I’m a grace hog.
Really, I am. A pure-T grace hog. I don’t do it on purpose, it just happens because my life can be messy. And I have no one to blame but me for making it that way. And no one to thank for covering me in Grace but my Savior.
It is sweet relief to be able to take a deep breath, reflect and know you are covered in grace. I really don’t know how I’d make it another day without that reality in my life. If you’ve never experienced it, you are missing out. You are missing out on peace here and peace forevermore.
Your perfectly imperfect grace-hog,