She wants it when she wants it. That’s my three-year olds new way of saying she is done with her supper.
She will finish it later. When she wants it. When she gets hungry. Not sooner.
That tiny soul’s defiant spirit can draw me into my alter-ego as the “Mother of Rage” quicker than my girl can change her mind about what she wants to eat. And that’s quick.
If she isn’t willing, she’s not going to cooperate. She’s not going to listen. She’s not going to care what I have to say. Until I make her care. And trying to make her listen and care and cooperate is something I’ve not been as willing to learn as I should have.
This raising kids is hard. I always heard that and believed it, but I didn’t really believe it until I had them.
The scariest part for me is, I’m starting to see a lot of myself in this little ball of fire that melts my heart one minute and the next instant is setting my heart on fire. Literally on fire with fury. I know she is like me. At three. And it scares me what fifteen will look like. Because I remember me at fifteen.
The question I have to ask myself is am I willing to change me to direct her to Him?
To who? To the only One who will ever be able to use that fiery spirit for the greater good…for His good. And Jesus can. He’s the only One who can. And will. If I’m willing.
So today, I pray that I would be willing. Willing to listen to what God is telling me through His word. The only self-help book that is going to have ALL the answers. And it does. I believe that. I just have to be willing to read and listen and respond.
And I pray that in my willingness He would make me able. To follow-through. Even when it hurts. And most of the time it hurts me more than it hurts her. But in the end, I don’t want to just be her friend, I want to the be one that showed her the way to Life.
I’m a mess. I don’t know what I’m doing. I doubt I ever will. But I know the One that knows what He’s doing and if I’m willing to let him…He will show me the way, too.
Parent…take heart. We don’t have to have all the answers. We just have to know the One who does…and be willing to listen and respond. He is always willing to answer. They were His before they were ours, after all.
This post was in conjunction with Lisa Jo-Baker’s Five Minute Friday writing prompt for today which was “willing.” This awesome community takes her weekly prompt and writes for 5 minutes (give or take) 😉 just to get the raw, real emotion out that the word is speaking to us. No fluff. No stuff. Just writing. Feel free to come along…and as she says, everyone’s a writer. We all have it in us.