Five Minute Friday: {willing}

She wants it when she wants it. That’s my three-year olds new way of saying she is done with her supper.

She will finish it later. When she wants it. When she gets hungry. Not sooner.

That tiny soul’s defiant spirit can draw me into my alter-ego as the “Mother of Rage” quicker than my girl can change her mind about what she wants to eat. And that’s quick.

If she isn’t willing, she’s not going to cooperate. She’s not going to listen. She’s not going to care what I have to say. Until I make her care. And trying to make her listen and care and cooperate is something I’ve not been as willing to learn as I should have.

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This raising kids is hard. I always heard that and believed it, but I didn’t really believe it until I had them.

The scariest part for me is, I’m starting to see a lot of myself in this little ball of fire that melts my heart one minute and the next instant is setting my heart on fire. Literally on fire with fury. I know she is like me. At three. And it scares me what fifteen will look like. Because I remember me at fifteen. 

The question I have to ask myself is am I willing to change me to direct her to Him?

To who? To the only One who will ever be able to use that fiery spirit for the greater good…for His good. And Jesus can. He’s the only One who can. And will. If I’m willing.

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So today, I pray that I would be willing. Willing to listen to what God is telling me through His word. The only self-help book that is going to have ALL the answers. And it does. I believe that. I just have to be willing to read and listen and respond.

And I pray that in my willingness He would make me able. To follow-through. Even when it hurts. And most of the time it hurts me more than it hurts her. But in the end, I don’t want to just be her friend, I want to the be one that showed her the way to Life.

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I’m a mess. I don’t know what I’m doing. I doubt I ever will. But I know the One that knows what He’s doing and if I’m willing to let him…He will show me the way, too.

Parent…take heart. We don’t have to have all the answers. We just have to know the One who does…and be willing to listen and respond. He is always willing to answer. They were His before they were ours, after all.

Graciously,
Meredith

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This post was in conjunction with Lisa Jo-Baker’s Five Minute Friday writing prompt for today which was “willing.” This awesome community takes her weekly prompt and writes for 5 minutes (give or take) 😉 just to get the raw, real emotion out that the word is speaking to us. No fluff. No stuff. Just writing. Feel free to come along…and as she says, everyone’s a writer. We all have it in us. 

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20 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: {willing}

  1. Loving your blog, Meredith. (visiting from Compel) It is so true that Jesus is the one and only. We need His help so much in this roller coaster of motherhood. It can be so hard but so rewarding at the same time. Thanks for sharing your heart.

  2. Meredith, I LOVE your blog! I stumbled upon it through COMPEL. You have such a gift of writing with raw beauty and authenticity…and your photography is stunning. I could relate to much of what you shared…being a mommy of three (my youngest 4 years old…right around the age of your little strong-willed little love). I read through a few of your posts and was so encouraged by your words. Keep doing what you are doing. I loved visiting and I will be back! From one blogger to another, one lover of Jesus to another, and one messy heart to another, thank you! Feel free to visit me too 🙂 I set up a fb page yesterday that has a link to my blog:

    https://www.facebook.com/imstillclay

    Looking forward to connecting more and walking this God adventure alongside of you.
    All for His glory,
    Amanda

    • Thank you so much for visiting and your super sweet encouraging words, Amanda! I just looked at your Facebook page…it is beautiful! I’ll check out your blog today, as well. Glad to have another mommy blogger to relate to and with. We are in this together. That’s what I’m loving about finding this community on Compel and through other bloggers…it’s like a huge, awesome sisterhood of perfectly imperfect grace-covered girls making our way…
      And yes! All for His glory 😉
      Meredith

  3. Such a wonderful post, Meredith. What beautiful and precious pictures! “She wants it when she wants it.” That describes me pretty well. God is working on me, though. And I pray that I will become a willing child to His every desire for my life.

  4. Meredith,
    Thank you for visiting my blog today and for your sweet words both over there and here too Yes, I love your line, “And it scares me what fifteen will look like. Because I remember me at fifteen.” You know what? This whole parenting thing is scary and hard and messy. Before I had kids, I thought I had it all worked out. What a humbling process it has been! Now I look to the One who changes me, guides me and teaches me what kind of parent I can be, if I trust Him. If I’m willing…
    Thank you!

  5. “The only self-help book that is going to have ALL the answers.” Amen!! Beautiful post and the pictures of your daughter…simply adorable. Happy Friday. Blessings to you.

  6. Meredith,
    your girl is lovely, and you are so right….He is the One who need to go to for the wisdom and patience we need, and I’ve recognized when I get angry it is also time to go to God, and ask Him to show me what is underneath it all…I could relate to what you wrote…blessings as you parent your sweet girl 🙂

  7. It’s been awhile since mine were little but you never forget the desire to show a willing heart for God to your children. Wonderful words and love your photo’s, Meredith. Thank you.

  8. Love this post. I’m right there with you. Parenting is hard stuff. The only thing I knew about parenting was that I didn’t know anything.
    p.s. I think your blog is awesome by the way, because of the unique combination of great photography and great words. It reminds me a little of Ann Voskamp’s. (I know you mentioned you love her….so do I!)

    • Thank you, Amy…that’s the most awesome compliment I could ever get. To be even a smidge of a reminder of Ann Voskamp…:D! She’s a huge inspiration. And I love what you say…the only thing you knew about parenting was that you didn’t know anything. Amen, Sister, Amen. Love you and your words more and more and more! Hugs from snowy NC to Houston today…:)

  9. Meredith,
    This post encouraged my mommy heart this morning. I have a 4 year old daughter and an almost 2 year old son, so we’ve experienced the 3 year old stage – what a challenge! It is a daily decision to lay down my selfish desires and work through being willing to give up me for the benefit of leading them to Him. It’s a blessing and a privilege but oh my, it is hard! So glad to have others like you on the journey with me.
    Blessings,
    LeeAnn

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